Saving My Tears

There's this show on the Lifetime network called Army Wives about army wives and what they go through as a spouse to an American soldier. It's about fictional families but real issues. So as I watch this show I find that I can relate to what these women are going through. The most recent episode was about their husbands leaving on deployment. As I watched in tears at the heart wrenching scene of the soldiers getting on a plan waving goodbye to their families, not knowing if they will ever see them again, I knew that one day that will be me. One day I will have to say goodbye to my husband as he leaves for war, and the worst part is I won't be able to just fall apart but I will have to be strong for my husband but mostly for my children. How do you do that? How do you say strong and put together when all you want to do inside is scream and cry? How do you go on when you want to curl up die because the pain is to much?
Of course my husband hasn't gone anywhere yet and probably won't for a while, but the thought is always in the back of my mind. And yes, I knew that him leaving was a possibility when he joined. But it never seemed so real until now. And it pains me to hear our fellow Americans say bad thing's about the military and the soldiers and their families. If only they knew how much our soldiers sacrifice to keep the freedom of this country.
Okay so I know that this was just a bunch of jumbled up thoughts and they probably don't make any sense, but I just had to get it all out. I can't let my heart ache forever.
So to all those who read this, whether your pro military or against, just remember those are real people and behind those uniforms and they have real feelings and real families just like you and me. Give them a break and ask your self how you would feel if you were in their shoes.